Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Is it common for female doctors to examine male patients without another nurse present? Is there a difference in protocol for nurses and physician assistants?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

NTSB finds fuel leak and improperly installed parts in the engine of an airliner that caught fire - AP News

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What do women talk about mostly(among themselves)?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

How can I easily get rid of my writers block?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand how hurricane paths work

Treasuries Rally on Fed Cut Hopes, Stocks Hit Peak: Markets Wrap - Bloomberg

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Scientists Uncover a Lost World Hidden Beneath Antarctica’s Frozen Tapestry for Millions of Years - Indian Defence Review

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

How common is it for siblings to fight over their parents' inheritance money? What is the best way to handle this type of situation?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

2025 Belmont Stakes picks, odds: Horse racing writer has best bets for final jewel of Triple Crown - SportsLine

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I see through liars

Why do Puerto Ricans come to this country flying their flags over in the United States all over their cars? They're so proud of their country. Why are they here?

I actually pay taxes

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Samsung is struggling to sell the Galaxy S25 Edge - SamMobile

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

The Best Tea for Lowering High Blood Pressure, Recommended by a Dietitian - EatingWell

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

Is it possible for sociopaths to feel genuine remorse for their actions or thoughts towards others, even if they are skilled at hiding it from others?

I can read

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why are the democrats keep insisting that there are more than two genders?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I can count

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have a reading level above third grade

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”